Virtual Meeting Etiquette
What You’ll Learn:
Virtual meetings can be tricky—technology glitches, camera fatigue, and lack of engagement often get in the way of collaboration. But with the right balance of etiquette and manners, online meetings can be just as effective (and even more enjoyable) than those in person. This article explores research-backed strategies and practical tips to help leaders and team members alike build stronger connections, foster respect, and create a meeting culture that boosts productivity and team cohesion.
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Some Surprising (and Not-So Surprising) Techniques
My mother always said, “mind your manners.” A simple statement that says a lot.
When it comes to virtual team meetings, that sentiment applies, but there is a lot to unpack. Virtual team meetings have all the challenges of traditional team meetings, with added technological and distance obstacles to overcome that can limit or discourage interaction.
One way to rise above potential problems is by embracing etiquette and manners. Etiquette provides the rules, while manners are the personal expressions of those rules. In this article, I explore ways to incorporate both etiquette and manners to make virtual team meetings more effective, more enjoyable, and more supportive of team building and cohesion.
Does Virtual Meeting Etiquette Really Matter?
In the 21st century, the idea of etiquette and manners being important might seem like something out of Downton Abbey — a “nice” but antiquated notion. However, management research over the past 20 years has demonstrated that etiquette helps maximize good communication and behavior in organizational teams.
For example, Allen and Lehmann-Willenbrock’s 2020 study shows that good meeting behaviors are linked to increased member engagement and decreased emotional exhaustion. Other studies provide support for etiquette-based outcomes, like better decision-making, team cohesion, and increased innovative thinking.
So, what does that exactly mean for virtual teams and the people who lead them? Let’s talk about where and how etiquette and manners impact virtual team meetings:
Cultural Effects
Meetings embody a sense of culture. Some say meeting culture is as important as company culture. I tend to see meeting culture as a reflection of both team and organizational culture. The rules (etiquette) and the expression of those rules (manners) in meetings should reflect the values and norms you see in your team and in your organization. It’s not an exact replica — a team is a small group of people compared to the organization, so teams tend to reflect more of team members’ personalities and perspectives.
As such, savvy team leaders are mindful of culture when deciding on etiquette and manners used in team meetings that reflect those individual member factors. Etiquette and manners should fit the team; members should be able to accept and abide by them.
Before the Meeting
Before each meeting, team leaders can help set the stage for team members and let them know what to expect — a good example of etiquette in action. Create an agenda that outlines what you wish to accomplish and make sure it includes something relevant for each team member. Leaving someone out is demotivating to that person, making them wonder why they were invited.
Members can display good manners by preparing for the meeting. It is polite and smart to review the agenda ahead of time and note how and when to offer ideas or ask questions. You might even offer meeting ideas or material to the leader beforehand.
Another thing that you might not have considered in terms of etiquette and manners: make sure your equipment works properly before the meeting starts. Nothing frustrates people like waiting for a team member to get their video going. Finally, eat before the meeting, not during — nobody wants to see you eating a hoagie while you try to answer a question.
Setting the Stage
Some teams are more formal than others, but wear professional clothes of some type, casual or otherwise, as your team's culture dictates. It is polite to present yourself (leader and members) in your best light. That doesn’t mean you have to be wearing a three-piece suit (or the top half anyway) for a meeting! However, showing up in your pajamas doesn’t exactly set the right tone either.
Have a good background behind you. “Good” is clean, professional, and not distracting. You don’t want to look like you're broadcasting from your Mom’s basement or flying in a video game. Programs like Canva offer nice-looking backgrounds you can use and look on top of your game.
You’ll want that good background behind you because here's a cardinal rule for virtual teams: don’t turn off your video camera! Face-to-face conversations have a strong advantage that virtual interactions can lack — namely, the inclusion of facial expressions and body language.
Some research has considered the issue of “Zoom fatigue,” which occurs when people feel overloaded by nonverbal communication cues during videoconferencing. But other research has shown that over 55% of communication is non-verbal in nature, and if your camera is off, so are your non-verbal cues. A 2025 study found that turning the camera off resulted in being perceived as less engaged and less suitable for leadership roles by other group members.
Overall, turning cameras off may reduce fatigue and technical issues, but it comes at the cost of losing important nonverbal communication cues that affect rapport, engagement, and perceived credibility in meetings. People want to connect with other people — being able to see each other makes a huge difference in interaction quality. If you are the team leader, model that behavior and make it clear to members that they are expected to keep their cameras on as well.
Etiquette and manners also demand that you remain mindful of your non-verbal cues during meetings. Facial expressions and body language say a lot about your overall mood and your immediate response to something said. I am not suggesting that you be a carefully controlled robot with no emotions; authenticity is important in team interactions. But you can be mindful: try to look engaged and interested in what your colleagues are saying. Don’t look distracted or bored. The Golden Rule applies — show others the emotions you want them to show to you.
One final (and cardinal) rule: turn off the phone!
This rule may be easier for some people to follow than others but hear me out. You can do without the phone for the duration of the meeting. From a politeness perspective, it demonstrates a willingness to value and pay attention to your team. At the very least, put it on mute and stop looking at it every few minutes.
A Surprising Take on Mics
Most of the articles on virtual meeting etiquette recommend muting your mic when you’re not talking. I disagree — DON’T turn off your mic during meetings. Allow ambient sounds to be heard. That said, you do want to manage majorly distracting noise where you can. Get help with the baby. Close your window if your neighbor has chosen that moment to use his leaf blower. If your dog always lets you know the “evil” UPS truck has pulled up, keep the dog away from windows. But every day, ambient noise should be heard.
Here’s why.
Ambient sound occurs in face-to-face interactions; it’s just part of the experience. One of the problems inherent in virtual interactions is they sound like they’re occurring in a vacuum. Only the person’s voice is heard and there are a lot of pauses. Dr. Jennifer Jordan, a leadership and organizational behavior scholar, notes that virtual conversations can sound disjointed with asynchronous communication rhythms, leading to lost momentum and increased detachedness.
This makes it hard to really connect and slows information flow among everyone. You want to create an experience as close to face-to-face as possible and that ambient noise helps create a comfortable background bed of sound for more “real world” communication.
In the Meeting
First thing: be on time or early.
Time is a facet of culture, and in the U.S., it’s considered polite to be there when the meeting begins, if not early. Being a few minutes early allows you to interact informally with teammates and set the mood. Team leaders should arrive early to model the behavior and have a chance for social interactions. Guests and new members to the team should be introduced and welcomed. Make sure to introduce and welcome guests and new team members, giving newcomers a few minutes to share about themselves and interact informally.
For Team Leaders
Virtual meetings are an important way for leaders to build relationships, convey and receive information, and take the team's pulse. But they're also a significant opportunity to model behavior and build cultural awareness around etiquette norms. The old parenting adage "actions speak louder than words" applies here—team members will follow the leader's behavior over time.
Since your agenda involves each member, use those moments to support people they talk. Praise members for showing empathy, asking questions, building on ideas of others, etc. (One note: provide constructive (negative) feedback privately to members if if someone's meeting behavior was lacking.)
Let your employees do most of the talking.
Leading the meeting doesn’t mean dominating it. Show curiosity, ask for others opinions before sharing your own, and actively listen. This powerfully engages and empower people, while reinforcing etiquette norms.
Use the chat function for specific items like links or files. Also discourage side conversations in chat during the meeting, as it distracts participants and is counterproductive. If something needs saying, say it to everyone or wait until after.
Keep track of time.
Running long is rude and disrespectful of people's time—try to finish a few minutes early. Cognitive science and educational psychology shows that adults’ capacity to focus and engage in a meeting is really no longer than 30 minutes. For longer meetings, take breaks around that mark. (Realize that however long you say the break will be, it will be at least half again as long.) To refocus people afterward, use a quick poll question related to the next agenda item. In fact, it is wise to use a “button” poll that is related to the discussion about every 15 minutes to keep people engaged. (AI can help generate these poll questions beforehand.)
When the meeting is done, thank members for attending and engaging.
Afterward, create a short summary of the meeting and distribute it to everyone who attended. Make sure there is an action item for each team member. These days, it is popular to use AI to create these summaries but be careful — the results can vary widely and be pretty awful, so read it and revise as needed before sending it out.
For Team Members
Members have a responsibility for observing team etiquette and manners. Let’s start with a big one: stay engaged and look engaged. Nothing kills the mood faster than someone who looks bored while others are talking. Same goes for looking distracted.
How do you avoid this? Keep your eyes on the camera, not looking down at your keyboard or to the side. One helpful practice: minimize the meeting window and arrange people’s faces along the top of the screen.
Don’t multitask during meetings! You might think you’re the one person who can hold a substantive conversation AND play solitaire, but most of us aren’t that good at truly engaging while doing something else.
Instead of just trying to look engaged, actually be engaged. Ask questions and raise concerns. Support your teammates and leader by praising obvious effort, building on others' comments, and having ideas prepared to offer
End On a High Note
As things wrap up, continue respecting virtual meeting etiquette and manner norms. Leaders should thank members for their participation and members should thank leaders for their guidance and agenda preparation. One interesting technique: ask each member to add one “take-away” from the meeting in the chat. This involves everyone and gives leaders a way to assess meeting success.
Bottom Line
Emily Post noted that “manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.” In virtual team meetings, manners also represent team culture and strengthen relationships. Teams that create etiquette and manner norms — and then actually use them — will experience increased member satisfaction, better decision-making and innovation, and greater team cohesion. All of this leads to successful team outcomes.
As usual, Mom was right.
👉 If you’d like to dive deeper into building stronger, more effective virtual teams, check out our Virtual Teams Workshop. It’s designed to help leaders and team members put these etiquette and communication strategies into practice, turning everyday meetings into powerful tools for connection and collaboration.
