Virtual Meeting Etiquette: More Tips

In an earlier article, I outlined ways that etiquette and manners make virtual team meetings more effective. Remember, etiquette provides the rules, while manners are the personal expressions of those rules. Now, I realize that etiquette isn't the most pressing issue virtual team leaders face. But as the proverb says, politeness creates substantial rewards. Research shows that good manners lead to increased member engagement and decreased emotional exhaustion—outcomes that matter for any team.

So here are a few more suggestions for virtual team leaders and members about etiquette and manners that can help meetings run smoother and maybe even be more interesting and enjoyable.

Respect Everyone's Time

As you plan a meeting agenda, take a step back and ask yourself: does everyone on the team really need to attend? If the answer is yes, great. But if not, don't make everyone come. The person left off the list won't feel excluded—they'll appreciate getting that time back! As long as you're not consistently leaving the same person out, you're fine. It's good manners to let team members excuse themselves from meetings without fear of reprisal.

Of course, strategic meetings require everyone's presence—etiquette (and good business practice) dictates that. Same goes for gatherings focused on community or trust-building. But try to help your people avoid meeting fatigue, which is just as prevalent in virtual teams as it is in face-to-face ones.

Ice Breakers (Use Sparingly)

At the risk of sounding like a curmudgeon, save the "fun" activities for when your team is gathering primarily to build trust and community. Starting a work-focused meeting with an ice breaker can feel off-putting, distracting, and frustrating to people who have work and other obligations waiting for them. Not good manners.

That said, you can have a few casual questions ready if people arrive early, so you're not just sitting around staring into your monitors. Come up with your own or grab some from the internet. Examples include: "What was your favorite childhood movie?", "What's the weirdest thing you've ever smelled?", or "Where would you go on vacation if money were no object?" Keep it clean, naturally.

One More Thing About Backgrounds

You might think your background choice isn't related to manners, but hear me out. In my first article, I talked about background etiquette—ensuring that the view behind you is clean and professional as a courtesy to your colleagues. I also mentioned finding backgrounds in programs like Canva or using the built-in options in your meeting software. However, I should have been more explicit: please avoid backgrounds with moving elements (swimming fish, flying saucers, etc.) and music. Your teammates will thank you.

Look 'em In the Eye

In the face-to-face world, it's considered good manners (at least in Western cultures) to look people in the eye during conversation. The same applies virtually. For that to happen, everyone needs to ensure that: 1) their camera is at eye level, and 2) they're looking at the camera. The first part is straightforward—adjust your camera to eye level. The second is trickier because we typically have the meeting window displayed below the camera, so we're looking down at whoever's speaking. Not ideal and not polite.

Here's the fix: minimize the meeting window and drag it to the top of your screen, right under the camera. If your meeting platform lets you rearrange participants within the window, put the meeting host in the middle. This way, when you look at the top of your screen, it appears you're looking into the camera. My husband, who's more adept at this than me, actually moves people around at the top of his screen during meetings depending on who's talking—though that’s too distracting for me. You get the idea.

Also, make sure your lighting is adequate. You don't need studio lights or those ring lights influencers use. Just ensure you're not sitting in the dark. It's polite to make sure others can easily see you.

The Art of (Virtual) Conversation

When it comes to interacting with teammates, most face-to-face manners apply virtually. For example, everyone should feel welcome to participate, but no one should dominate the conversation.

Technology adds unique challenges, though. When communicating via video, cues are minimal and confusing. Interruptions, awkward silences, and talking over each other are common, making collaboration and fluid interaction difficult.

Here's where pauses become your friend. In virtual conversations, pause more and pause longer than you would in person—enough to fully absorb what someone said. When someone else is talking, it's polite to pause and give a simple nod to show you're listening.

About That Chat Function

Most virtual meetings have a chat feature. I think of it like passing notes in a face-to-face meeting versus putting notes on a shared whiteboard. One is kind of rude and distracting, the other serves a purpose.

In the interest of good etiquette, don't use chat for off-task or personal conversations—save those for after the meeting. But leaders can use the chat function productively for brainstorming ideas or allowing teammates to share links and contacts for later reference.

Little AI Ears Are Listening

One final precautionary note: these days, most meeting programs like Microsoft Teams and Zoom have AI tools running in the background, summarizing what participants say. On one hand, this provides a meeting summary (though I won't debate its quality here). On the other hand, it records things said while you wait for the meeting to start, after it's over, or when discussions get heated. The meeting host can turn this feature off. In the interest of etiquette, I'd recommend hosts at least disable it before and after meetings so people feel comfortable discussing personal matters during these informal periods.

Virtual team leaders juggle a lot when managing team meetings. Etiquette and manners can easily slip through the cracks amid agenda items, strategic planning, and conflict resolution. But it's the little things—like good manners—that ironically make the biggest impact over time when people interact. And they don't cost you anything. In other words, what costs little, yields much.



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